Law and Order SVU Detective Alec Bay
by a.l.russo
Summary: I made a detective based on me, so this is basically her POV. But, because I am a huge E/O shipper, I did add a little E/O fluff. But towards the end. R&R and enjoy!
1. 1: To the Office

**I'm adding the first two chapters... if you like it, tell me! I wrote a total of fifty-one pages, and thirteen chapters. It's more of Detective Alec Bay's POV, but towards the end I did add a little E/O fluff. So, without further adiuo (or however you spell that), enjoy! Please R&R!**

Chapter One—To the Office

I walked into the headquarters, looking completely ready. But on the inside, I knew that I was ready to throw up. SVU…. I had always wanted to work in this category of the force ever since I was a teenager. And now I was here, in beautiful New York City.

I had on my business suit, and black high heels. I wasn't one to dress up—if I could, I would come into work wearing jeans and a t-shirt—but when I did dress up, I did look nice. My mother always used to tell me, "They say that it's what you do that makes your job, but it's also how you dress that make people respect you more." And she was right.

I continued to walk. Honestly, I was scared. But it wasn't like I knew anyone.

"Alec Bay?" Someone asked. My first thoughts were, "I know that voice." I turned around, and saw that it was my closest friend from Boston, Casey Novak. My eyes widened in remembrance and surprise. "Casey Novak?"

It all happened so fast that it just hit me at once. I first saw Casey sprinting towards me, and then the next thing I knew I was hugging her. "It's so good to see you!" She said, happily. I pulled my head off her shoulder and said, "Same! Oh, my God, I'm so glad you work here."

She laughed as she replied, "Why?"

"Because at least I know someone here! I'm so nervous; I'm not going to lie to you Case."

She smirked a smirk of wonderment before she answered, "Well, do you know who you're working with? I might know them." At this point she was standing in front of me, with a manila folder clutched to her chest with both arms.

I shrugged. "I think it was Benson and… Stapler? Stabler? I can't remember."

Her face lit up as she said, "Oh! You've got Elliot and Olivia! They're wicked nice. Elliot's a little on the blunt side, though, and he has a temper. You might get a little of it, but it will be mostly directed to the people who he's interrogating. And Olivia's like an older sister; she's always got your back, and you'll feel like you've known her for years."

It felt like a five-hundred pound brick was lifted off of my shoulders. At least I was working with nice people. Casey smiled as she saw my face flood in relief, and she added, "And I'm the ADA for them, so I'll be there a lot."

I was too excited to contain it—I wrapped my arms around her neck. "Yes!" I said, my voice muffled.

She laughed as I released her. "Do you know where you're going?" She asked, the smile from her laughter still etched on her face.

"Um… not really." I admitted.

She laughed as she said, "Follow me."

"Thanks!" I called over my shoulder to Casey, as I rounded the corner and into the precinct.

I reached my desk, one that was placed in the left center of the room. Compared to others, it was the loneliest desk in the busy room; no pictures, no knick-knacks… nothing. The only thing that was placed on my desk was notepad, my shield and ID, and a Sticky-Note that read: "Detective Alec Bay, you will be working with detectives Olivia Benson and Elliot Stabler. Their desk is the one on the right of yours." I ripped it off my desk, guessing that it was from Captain Cragen.

I then picked up my shield. The power in this tiny metal thing was incredible… and now I finally had one. Of course, I would use it for good, but even still…. Eight years of Harvard Law had finally paid off. With this happy thought in my mind, I slipped my badge into my coat pocket.

I sat down in my black leather seat that accompanied my empty desk. It felt awkward; I felt like should be doing something rather than sitting there doing nothing. I decided to look like I was doing something, and opened a drawer in my desk. In it laid a black shot gun. I stared at it for a moment, not knowing what to do—put it in my pocket? Keep it there? I mean, I was trained how to use it, but even still…Drowning in my own thoughts, a gentle hand touched my back. "Alec Bay?" Asked a female voice.

I turned around to face a woman who looked like she was in her mid 40's, but could pull off 35. She had medium length mouse-colored hair with highlights in them, and big, hazel eyes. Her smile was warm and radiant, and she had perfect, white teeth. She was my height, which was a plus. I guessed this was Olivia Benson.

"Yes, that's me," I replied, somewhat timidly as I stood up. "Can I help you?" I asked, kindly. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't hide my Boston accent; not thick, but obvious enough to know where I was from.

"Yes, I believe that we're working together." She held out her left hand; no ring.

I shook it, not as vigorously as I would have with a new person back in Boston. Instead, I grabbed it lightly and replied, "Alec Bay. It's a pleasure." Detective Benson smiled and said, "The pleasure's all mine."

I felt a weird connection—like Casey said—with Detective Benson, as if I could ask her anything and she wouldn't give me a weird look. So I tested this. "Detective Benson?" I asked, timidly.

"Olivia, please," she replied.

"Olivia, excuse me. Um… were you… I don't know… scared as hell on your fast day?"

Olivia laughed, and nodded. "Yes, I was. I actually lost my lunch at some point of the day."

Great, I thought, now I can count on puking.

"But I felt great after finding the rapist. Knowing that I saved a few people." She smiled weakly at me. She looked exhausted.

I smiled back. I liked the warmth of her. "Okay so now…" she started, "… you're turn. Why did you come here? Why not CI? Not to be too personal, I'm just trying to make pathetic small-talk." She rested her hand against my desk, in a position that could be held in for a while.

I bit my lip. There was a reason, but it was just so hard to explain…

"Oh, crap. Too personal, huh?"Asked Olivia. She was about to spill out about seven different apologies in twenty different ways, when I held up my hands in defense.

"No, it's fine. But I'd rather not talk about it, if you wouldn't mind." I said, politely. I kept my eyes glued to my feet.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her nod her head. "Of course. Sorry."

I shook my head. "No problem, it's okay." I smiled, reassuringly. I then cleared my throat, and said, "So um… what do I do with the gun in my desk?"

She laughed. "You can take it. Did it come with a holster?"

I gave her my puzzled look, and opened the drawer. I took out the gun and put it on my desk. No holster in that drawer. I checked the one above it, and saw a black, belt-like holster, equipped with a pair of handcuffs and a walkie-talkie. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Olivia smile. I slipped on the holster, and put the gun in it. I felt so proud.

I opened my mouth to say something to her, when I was interrupted by a brisk brush of my shoulder. "Sorry," the man muttered, and continued to pace. He wore a striped suit, and had brown hair. That was all I could make out from behind, anyway.

As my eyes followed him, so did—absently—my head. "And that…" Olivia started, looking directly at me. "…Is our partner. Elliot Stabler."

"Hmm." I said, cocking my head a little bit. I thought about what Casey had said earlier, and found that he had fit her description. "Seems like a real people-person."

Olivia smiled. "He's not that bad. He's probably just getting the case from Cragen." I nodded, understandingly. I looked at the way Olivia was looking at him; her eyes set on him as they twinkled, her heart beating so loud and so fast that even I could hear it…She loves him, I thought.

I caught Mr. Stabler—well, Elliot, to be technical—walking out of the office. He didn't even notice me as her said, "Liv, I've got a new one." He held out folders to her.

She took them, threw them on the desk, grabbed his hand, took mine, and shook them by force. "Elliot, this is Alec. She's going to be working with us." Elliot looked at me, nodded and smiled. "Sorry about your shoulder."

I shrugged. "I've got another one." He smiled, and I noticed that he had no ring, either.

"So, now that we're all acquainted… what's the case?"

Elliot pointed to me. "Wanna do the honors?"

"Sure," I said, cautiously. I read the papers: "Name is Alessandra Groxton. She's seven, and goes to P.S. 74. Apparently, it was recess, and a man came to her picking her up as her father. She followed, he lead her into a deserted alleyway, and raped her. She's at the hospital now." I looked up, slowly taking in each detective's reaction. Olivia listened intently, as if her life depended on it. Elliot had his fists clenched his sides, and was looking at his feet.

"Have they done the rape kit yet?" Asked Olivia, softly.

I looked down at the papers. "No."

Olivia nodded. "Um…" Olivia started, delicately, "Maybe Alec and I should investigate Alessandra."

Elliot and Olivia were two inches away from their lips touching. Elliot was looking straight into Olivia's huge hazel eyes, as hers were fixated on his clear blue eyes. But hers would sometimes dart down to his lips. "Okay. I'll do some background checks." Olivia nodded. She took a long look at him, and then turned to me. "Ready to go?"

"Sure," I said, and quickly grabbed my coat. I slipped my hands in my pocket, and felt my badge. It was at that moment that I knew that I was going to do alright.


	2. 2: A Long Drive

Chapter Two—A Long Drive

Olivia drove. I was actually glad she did; I didn't want to do something unintentional and it turn out that it was illegal at the same time.

I didn't realize the silence in the car; I was too indulged in my own thoughts.

"You always this quiet?" Asked Olivia, who glanced over to me.

"Hmm? Oh. No. Just… thinking." I was wary on the word "thinking". I hoped she wouldn't ask of what.

"Of what?" Why is it that every time I think something, the opposite occurs?

I opened my mouth to tell her, but then closed it again.

"Nerves?"

I sighed, and cautiously said, "No, no, I'm past that now since I know I'm working with wicked nice people." I didn't say that to suck up, I really meant it. She didn't seem fazed by it, so I continued. "I… I just… hmm, how do I put this gently…"

Olivia laughed and said, "Just say it. Don't sugar-coat it; I'm a big girl now." She smiled.

I sighed, and said, "I… I think you and Elliot would make a good couple." I shrunk down in my seat and curled my shoulders. I was really glad there were no knives in the car, but the fact that a gun was on her hip wasn't so comforting, either.

Her smile slowly fell off her face and onto the car floor. Replacing it was a blank expression. Oh crap, I thought.

"He's married," she said, in a voice so low that it was almost a whisper.

"There was no ring on his finger…" I started, slowly.

"It's an estranged marriage."

"Oh." I said. "I'm sorry, that was too personal. You have every right to hate me."

She chuckled. "I don't hate you. Far from it. It's okay, really. Half the force thinks we should hook up, as well."

"Does he have kids?"

"Yup." She said, firmly.

"You…you know, he doesn't need to have a failing marriage just to see his kids. It's worse to live in a house with your parents both married, and never happy, than having them divorced and both of them being happy."

She was silent for a moment, taking in what I had said. She then said, "Your parents divorced?"

"Ever since I was seven." I muttered. I looked outside through the window. The sad thing was, was that I didn't have a single memory of my parents being together. Whenever I imagined them, they were always separate. And I remembered that when they told me, I had just learned what "divorced" meant three days earlier, by watching "Mrs. Doubtfire". Sometimes I had wondered that if I had never watched the movie, the split never would have happened.

Olivia had put her hand on my shoulder, which shook me from my thoughts. "Sorry, I'm just not… open…"

She shrugged. "Neither and am I." After a second, she said, "But, you're kind of right about El and I. We're best friends, we've been working together for 10 years. But the couple thing…"

"…is only a fantasy?" I finished for her, questioning. She shot me a somewhat of a glare. We hit a red light, and then she quickly lowered her head on the steering wheel. "Who am I kidding?" she asked, her voice muffled. She pulled her head back up, and said, "I loved him first! We went to school together… and it broke my heart when he told me about Kathy. But I threw on the stupid smile of lies and ignorance, and told him how happy I was for him. I was his best man at his wedding; it eventually became a big joke and they made me wear a tux. But you know what? Even after everything happened between him and Kathy, I haven't lost a touch of feeling for him. I don't have a personal life because he IS my personal life."

It's a good thing that this is an hour drive, I thought.

She turned to me, and said with tears in her eyes, "Please don't repeat any of this." She begged.

I nodded, "I would never. Don't worry." I said, full-heartedly.

"Thanks," she said, and wiped her nose with her sleeve.

"Man, I feel like a shrink down. Maybe you should recline." I joked.

She laughed, and said, "No wonder Casey spoke highly of you. You're just like her description."

I smiled. Good ol' Casey.

"So," she said, "do you have a secret love?"

I shook my head. "I never really… fell in love. No one ever really looked my way, and I never really looked theirs. Besides, I'm trying not to, so I can concentrate on work and nothing else. You know what I mean?"

"Oh yeah," she muttered.

"Listen," I said, slowly. "From what I hear from you, Kathy sounds like a bitch just taking Elliot away from you. You'll get Elliot someday. I can tell by the way he looks at you that he likes you. I read people as a specialty. And, I'm not saying this to be nice; he really likes you."

She looked over, and smiled. "Thanks."

I shrugged and smiled. "Man," I said, after a minute, "this is a hell of a way to get to know each other on the first day."

She shrugged. "Ah well. Getting the hard stuff out of the way first was never a crime."

"I like your thinking!" I said. We laughed together. When we were done, she asked, "So… do you want to question Alessandra, or should I?" She said this delicately, as if she were handling a piece of China through a tornado.

"Do you mind if I ask her questions? I like little ones. They're cute, and show one sign of kindness, they don't let go of you."

"Little ones?" Asked Olivia.

"Yeah. I can't call them little kids, because—to me—it sounds harsher, and you throw it around like it's nothing. Little ones is more endearing, to me."

I had my eyes closed, and my head against the window. It was nice to be bundled up in my warm winter coat, and my head against a stable surface. I had "Samson" by Regina Spektor stuck in my head. "You are my sweetest downfall/I loved you first…." It reminded me a lot of Olivia's situation with Elliot.

I must have dozed off, because I was awaken by Olivia's soft "We're here,"

I rubbed my eyes, and hopped out of the car. I watched Olivia from behind. She had an elegant stride, as if telling people that she was important. She was also walking quite fast.

I studied my own posture and grace. You have none, don't even bother, my mind told me. I shrugged and caught up to Olivia. She turned her head to me. "Ready?" She asked.

I nodded, nervously. She patted my shoulder and said, "You'll do great." And I felt like she meant it.


	3. 3: A Polite Interrogation

**Chapter Three—Polite Interrogation**

Olivia did all the talking with the snoody-looking receptionist. "Hi, what room number is Alessandra Groxton in?" She asked, as serious as a heart-attack.

Without looking up, the receptionist replied, "Are you family?"

Olivia sighed, annoyed. "No, but—"

The receptionist cut her off. "Then I'm sorry, you can't see her."

Olivia knocked her badge on the counter. With an immediate change of heart, the receptionist quickly looked through a stack of papers. "Uh," she muttered as she looked. "124. First floor."

"Thank you," said Olivia, and she motioned to me to follow her.

"That was awesome," I said, once the receptionist was out of earshot.

"You can do it next time," Said Olivia, smiling.

Olivia knocked twice, and said, "Alessandra? We're police women. Can we come in?" Olivia's voice sounded very warm, but then again, it always seemed warm.

A small, high-pitched "Yup!" came through the other end of the door. Olivia opened it.

She was very tiny—tiny waist, tiny hands… even her feet that were covered from the blankets seemed small. She had medium length, brunette hair, and two different colored eyes—one dark green, and one the exactly the same as mine; ice blue.

Olivia looked at me, as if to say, "The floor is yours." So I started. "Hey, Alessandra! My name is Alec, and this is Olivia." I used the same voice I used when I talked to my seven year old niece, Samantha.

Olivia gave a quick wave, and I continued. "We want to ask you some questions, and see how you're doing. Is that okay?"

"Yeah." Alessandra said, warily.

I sat down in the chair next to her. Her face lit up when she saw my Aviators carefully perched on top of my head; honestly I had forgotten about them. They were the kinds that allowed you to see out of, but not into. I had gotten them, mainly because they reminded me of an interrogation room.

"Can…can I play with those?" Alessandra asked timidly.

"Yeah!" I said, with true enthusiasm. At least this way she can answer questions while being occupied on something else not as scary. I took the glasses off my head.

"Whoa," she said, as she tried them on. "I can see out of them!" She smiled, and I laughed; they were way too big for her face.

I looked up at Olivia, who had a pad and pen ready. She nodded.

"Sweetie, do you know where your parents are?" I asked. It was weird that she was the only one in here, and the only other people to occupy her were the tending nurses and doctors.

"My daddy works in a really big building, called the Umpire State House, or something. He says he plays with numbers all day. And my mommy works at a cleaner's right down the street from where my daddy works. My daddy told the nurses to tell me that he'd be here in an hour."

"Okay. And I think you mean the Empire State Building. An umpire is like a director in a baseball game, silly!" I giggled, to make her feel like a mistake wasn't a bad thing.

She giggled back, and said, "Oh. Well, at least I got the State part right!" She seemed proud.

I smiled and said, "Alessandra? I'm going to ask you some grown-up questions, and I want you to answer as best as you can. Okay?" I rolled my head a little to the side, and looked at her; a technique my close family friend, Bobby Goren, used when he interrogate people.

She nodded, and said, "Okay."

I smiled, bearing my pearly-white teeth. "Good! Now, do you remember the person who att—hurt you?" I asked, slowly. I decided to change the word "attack" to "hurt" in mid-sentence, so it didn't sound as harsh or fearful for a seven year old.

She looked down at my glasses while she answered, "No… I can only remember that he had a sweater with a big, soft hood on it, and he was wearing jeans with big holes in them. Mommy always sews up my holes in my pants—I guess his mommy didn't care."

I shrugged, and said, "I guess not. Here," I said, helping her out as she tried to balance my glasses onto her head. "See? No you can just push them down and they'll fall onto your nose." She did, and giggled when she landed.

I smiled, and said, "Now… Do you remember where you were?"

She nodded again, my glasses bobbing on her nose. "I was in the playground during recess, and I was playing in the sandbox. I was alone, but Ms. Sanderson was near me. She's my teacher." She moved my glasses back on top of her head again.

I nodded. "You're doing very well, Alessandra. I'm sure your mommy and daddy will be very proud when we tell them."

She smiled, and said, "There's my daddy now!"

A tall man in a pin-striped suit burst through the door. He had blood-shot eyes, his tie was undone, and his hair was muffled. He pushed me and Olivia over, and dropped to his knees at the side of Alessandra's bed. He laid his head on her bed as he said, his voice muffled, "What have they done to you?" He began to cry.

I wasn't sure if by "they" he meant Olivia and I, or the rapist.

"Hi, Daddy!" Said Alessandra, excitedly.

I stood up next to Olivia. "Um," I said quietly, so only she could hear, "what do I do? Should I continue, or…?"

"I've got enough info and names to investigate. We should go." I nodded, and took a step forward to talk to the father. "Mr. Groxton?"

He looked up at me, and stood up. "Yes, hi." He shook my hand.

"We just want to let you know that Alessandra is fine now, but we need you to sign a form letting the hospital do a rape kit on her." I flashed my badge when I began to talk to him. I felt Olivia pat my back discreetly, and I tried to hide my smile.

"What's that? Will it hurt her?" He said, quickly. Worry and concern flooded to his eyes.

"No, sir. The only thing that might feel uncomfortable is that they need to swab inside her to look for any traces of DNA from the attacker. They can put her to sleep, if she is that uncomfortable."

He nodded, quickly. "Yeah, please. Where do I sign? I want to find this son of a bitch as much as you guys do."

Olivia pulled out a pen and the form from her jacket pocket. He signed quickly, and said, "Thank you." He went back to Alessandra, to tend to her.

I began to leave until I heard a small, "Alec!"

I turned around. "Yeah, sweetie?"

She held out my glasses. "You forgot these."

I was surprised that she reminded me. But at the same time, I was thankful. "Oh!" I said, and walked over.

I went on my knees, to be her height. She handed them to me, and I said, "You can play with them the next time we meet, okay?"

She nodded, and Olivia and I walked out.

Once in the deserted hallway, Olivia looked at me, and grinned. "Nice work, detective."

I smiled at the word "detective", and said, "Thanks. I have a niece who I visit with often, and I speak to her like that. All they really need is some kindness, and something shiny. Then they tell you what you want."

She laughed. "You'd be a good mother."

I smiled. "Maybe."


	4. 4: Information

**CHAPTER FOUR IS HERE! I just want to say--I'm a lot like Alec, but I made a lot up about her. The only thing that I really put myself into, was her personality. So... yeah... enjoy! r&r!**

**Chapter Four—Information **

I hopped into the car, and fastened my seatbelt. I quickly slipped on my aviators and leaned my head against the window.

I was appalled, honestly. How someone could get such sick kicks out of making a seven year old do what she did. That rapist stole a part of that girl that will never come back; maybe it was curiosity, maybe it was courage… but whatever it was, it was never coming back.

I found myself crying, and shaking my head. I was glad I had my huge glasses on, because then you couldn't see the tears forming in my eyes. But Olivia saw right through them. "You… you okay?" She asked. It felt nice to know that she cared, that she knew what I was going through.

I shook my head, and faced her. "I can't believe that someone could get such sick kicks out of raping someone…. Someone like that…." My voice cracked on some of the words, and I couldn't continue what I was saying because then I'd break out into a full sob.

Olivia nodded. "I know," she whispered, softly. "But that's why we do what we do. To stop these bastards and make sure that they never do it again."

I nodded, slowly. "You want my honest opinion?"

She nodded.

"I sometimes think that jail doesn't do anything for them. It varies on some, but on others…. You can just see it in their eyes."

"Trust me when I say, I know. I think that too."

Maybe I wasn't paying attention, or maybe I just didn't feel the motion of the car, but somehow, we had ended up on the highway. I quickly looked at the window on her side, discreetly. Everything was blurry due to the speed; the trees would dart by, and so would the cars on the passing side. It reminded me a lot of life; everything moved so quickly even when you're in a still place.

Olivia sighed, and continued. "My problem is, is that I get too close with the victims. I mean, I'm tough, but I'm empathetic. It's gotten me into trouble before."

I smirked. "Our problem is that we're women. Our natural instinct is to be empathetic. We sometimes go to the extremities to save someone's life, to bend the rules. But, in the end, it could be that we did that for nothing, because it was the wrong person. And then we take a step back, realize how low we've sank, and get back in line." Oh, how I spoke from experience.

"You got that right," Olivia muttered.

"I don't trust anyone," I said, after a few moments.

"You don't?" Said Olivia, curiously. She must be thinking about what I've told her, I thought.

"Nope. I only have about three people in my life that I can trust, and one of them works here. She told me that you are loyal, and I believe her." I paused, figuring out how to word my next sentence. But Olivia took this pause to sneak in, "How did you find out that I was loyal?"

I chuckled softly as I said, "Casey Novak."

"You know her?" Asked Olivia, surprised.

I nodded. "We grew up together, and she lived right across the street from me. We both had very little things in common, but the one thing we did have was law. She wanted to be a detective at first, and I wanted to be an ADA. We were so sure of what we wanted, up until college, when a professor had asked us to switch our dreams. We both thought it was a little harsh and blunt, but when we did, we found out that we were better at doing the opposite things. So she became and ADA, and I became a detective. I took longer, though, because I wanted to major in Theatre Arts. Which I did.

"But I had no idea that Case was working here until this morning, when I heard her call my name. She actually walked me to the office, because honestly, I had no clue where it was. But I hadn't seen her—or spoken to her—in years."

Olivia nodded. "But why didn't you guys call each other, at least?" I swore I thought I saw Olivia's interrogation wheel in her mind start turning.

"We just kind of… fell out. It was kind of like moving; you still think of the person once they're gone, but you never actually call them. Crappy analogy, but you know what I mean."

I yawned, and leaned my head against the window. "Mind if I doze off for a bit?" I asked.

Olivia shook her head. "Go right ahead. I'll wake you when we get to the headquarters."

"Thanks," I said sincerely, and drifted off to sleep.

"Alec, we're pulling into the parking lot." Olivia whispered, softly. She nudged my shoulder in the process.

I opened my eyes. Why is everything so dark? I wondered, but then remembered I still had my Aviators on. I pushed them to the top of my head, and said, "Thanks," to Olivia. I moaned quietly as I realized that I sounded tired.

"How long was I out?"

Olivia looked at her watch. "The full hour." Timex, my mind stated.

"We have the notes?" I asked. I figured if I said "we" then it wouldn't sound like I was bossing her around if I had said "you".

Olivia held up the small note-pad. "Yup."

We walked into the precinct, neither of us saying a word. I was drowned in my thoughts, to be honest, but I had no idea what Olivia was drowned in. I decided not to pick at it, and we both reached our desks.

"Got anything?" Asked Elliot, whose sleeves were rolled up, and his jacket was on his chair.

"Not much, but enough. She's pretty good with kids." Olivia said, motioning to me with her thumb.

I shrugged, modestly. "She was easy. I let her play with my aviators."

Elliot chuckled, softly.

Then suddenly, Captain Cragen came over. He looked in between our shoulders and asked, "So, what do we have?" He then turned to me and said, "How's the first day going?"

I smiled. "Well," I said, lying.

He nodded, and smiled in return. "So…?" He asked, turning his attention back to the case.

"Well, she said that her father works in the Empire State Building, playing with numbers all day—"

"So he's an accountant," Olivia said, cutting me off. I didn't mind it; it was how things were done.

"And her mother worked at the cleaner's right down the street…" I let my voice trail.

"'Debbie's Cleaner's'?" Asked Elliot, his eyes darting from me to Olivia.

"I thought it was 'Susan's'…" I muttered to myself. No one heard me, though.

"Yeah, that's only a block away." Said Olivia, back to him.

"What about the teacher, Ms. Sanderson?" I inquired. "Maybe she saw something."

"Hmm," Elliot muttered.

"Elliot, Olivia, you go question the mom. Munch!" Yelled the Captain.

"Yeah?" He called back, from across the room.

"You're going to P.S. 74 with Alec."

The man—I guess named Munch— nodded, and smiled. "Okay!" He said, with true enthusiasm.

As Munch walked over to me, the Captain said, "I promise he won't bite. Good luck." He patted my shoulder, and walked back to his office.

Munch stood in front of me, and held out an outstretched hand. "Hi, John Munch."

I shook it, and said, "Alec Bay." I smiled. I had always been very intuitive, and Munch was giving me a good vibe.

"Um," I said, after our hands fell to our sides, "Do you know where the school is? I don't really know where everything is yet."

Munch gasped, and placed a hand over his mouth. "You don't know where everything is yet? What's wrong with you!?"

I laughed; I liked this guy.


	5. 5: Teacher Talk

**Chapter Five—Teacher Talk**

"Is this it?" I asked, looking up from the map. Munch was driving, and, being the newbie, I kept my eyes glued to the map.

"Yup. You can glue the map back to your arm, now." Said Munch, with a small smile.

I chuckled. "So, do you want to talk, or should I, or should we both….?"

He shrugged. "It's up to you. We can do both, if it lifts some weight off your shoulders."

I smiled. "Okay."

Munch parked the car and we head up the front steps of the school. "I think we're lost," Munch muttered, after stepping inside.

"We just got in here." I said, confused.

"That's my point." Munch responded.

I half-smiled (which I did a lot, it merely meant that I was amused and happy), and stopped a teacher with books under her arms.

"Excuse me," I said, after stopping her.

"Yes?" She replied.

"Do you know where Ms. Sanderson's room is?" I asked, timidly.

She nodded. "Down the hall, last door on your right."

"Thank you," I said, and motion Munch to follow.

I looked down the hall—room number 123. Easy to remember for the kids, I thought to myself.

Munch and I walked—maybe even paced—to the room. He knocked, and a teacher—probably Ms. Sanderson—opened the door. "Can I help you?" She asked, her voice sweet and innocent.

"Ms. Sanderson?" She nodded. "Alexa, please."

"Alexa, I'm Detective Bay, and this is Detective Munch. Can we… talk somewhere in private?" I flashed my badge after I said my name.

She looked at me, and then at Munch. She turned around and said, "Class, read." The students obeyed, and took out their books. She closed the door behind her, and she tugged on her skirt. "What's going on?" Her eyes instantly filled with concern after the door closed.

"One of your students, Alessandra Groxton? She was raped, and she stated that you were in the area. We just want to know if you saw anything, or heard anything…?"

Alexa put a hand on her mouth. "Raped? I heard she was sick, not raped. And now, come to think of it… I did see someone with her. I thought it was her father, he came up to me and told me that he was taking her home. Her father never comes though, it's always her mother, so I didn't know what he looked like. He went down an alley with Alessandra—I thought it was just a shortcut."

Munch scribbled the answer down, and then asked, "Did he show any I.D.?"

Alexa nodded. "Yeah, we require all of the parents to show I.D. It had his last name—Groxton."

"What did he look like?" I fired. If it was what I thought it was….

"Uh," she said, racking her brain, "Short, brown hair. Business suit, tie… the normal business main."

I quickly looked at Munch, and then back to Alexa. I handed her my card, and said, "Thank you. If you think of anything else, call us."

She nodded. "Of course," and Munch and I dashed down the hallway to the police car. What a sick, bastard.


	6. 6: Back at the Precinct

**Sorry this took so long to post--I had run out of ideas! But I found a window, and now I'm back again with Alec Bay! R&R and enjoy!**

**Chapter Six—Back to the Precinct Again**

Munch and I walked into the precinct, our faces dark. Olivia took a look at Munch and I, and said "Who stole _your_ chocolate?"

"Son of a bitch is the rapist. I can't believe it." I shook my head, and placed my hand on my desk. I didn't realize that my knuckles had turned white until I looked down.

"Who?" Olivia asked me.

"Her father." I said, without looking up.

Olivia angled her head, and said "Alec?" thoroughly.

"I'm fine." I breathed, and looked up. "Did you question the mom?"

Olivia nodded. "Yup. Works from nine to six, does graveyard shift on Wednesdays, and never knew about her daughter's rape."

"Because the dad didn't want anyone to know." I looked up at Olivia, our eyes locking. I kept mine dark as I said, "Is there any way to take him into custody?" I asked Olivia.

"Already on it," Elliot said, as he and Munch headed out the door.

I looked at Olivia. "I don't even remember Munch coming in," I admitted.

Olivia shrugged. "He does that around new people. Don't mind him."

"Liv! Alec!" The Captain called. I snapped my head up, and Olivia replied "Yeah?"

The Captain paced over to us. "I want you guys to interrogate Groxton when he gets here." His almost-black eyes darted between us.

"What about Alessandra?" Olivia asked.

"She's with her mother at her aunt's house." At least I knew that Alessandra was okay.

"Uh, sir?" I asked the Captain.

"Yeah?"

"I have to admit that I have a bit of a temper—"

"Good. Use it."

I nodded. He walked away, back to his office. Olivia raised her eyebrows once the Captain was out of earshot. "You? A temper? You seem so… bouncy."

I chuckled. "When it comes to things like this, I have no patience." I felt my face darken.

Olivia placed a hand on my shoulder, as she said, "Everyone loses it on their first kid case. It just sucks that it's your first case ever."

"You got that right." I muttered. She stayed silent, but her hand still rested on my shoulder. Lighten up, you're in a better environment, I thought.

"So, do we just wait here until they come back?"

Olivia nodded. "All of the paperwork is done, and the Captain told me earlier on that we could just breathe for about ten minutes." She looked at me, her hazel eyes trying to read me.

I sat down in my chair, taken advantage of its comfort. Olivia sat across from me. To be honest, I liked her company, her comfort.

Looking at her, I shook my head. "You have a wicked strong stomach."

She chuckled, probably because I let my Boston accent show on the word "wicked". "You're not so bad yourself. You haven't lost your lunch yet."

I waved my pointer finger. "Key word: yet." I looked down at my watch: ten P.M.

Olivia smiled. "But really, a temper? You?" she asked.

I nodded, and shrugged. "I just… I get really angry. And I can't really control it. Especially with little ones, you know? It's just…" I shook my head, and looked up at her for the first time. "Horrible."

"I know," she said, her voice almost inaudible.

"How do people even fathom such things?" I asked, a question mainly for myself, but Olivia had heard it.

"If we only knew."

I shook my head, my hands balled into fists on my desks. Olivia caught sight of them, and she glanced up at me. "It's just that… when people do these things, and hurt these children, they take not only their sense of security, but their sense of innocence. They live their life, double checking each corner to see if they're being followed. Wearing things that don't show any of their skin, not even a nightgown. And they learn… to never, ever trust anyone. Not even themselves." I sighed.

Olivia looked at me, soft eyes glistening. It was then that I knew she knew; my face must have screamed it. But she played it off as if it were something else, as if it weren't real.

"I can't believe we get to interrogate this guy."

Olivia smirked. "Will I have to pull you back?"

I stared at her, my face as serious as a heart attack. "You might have to."

She nodded, taking it into consideration. She must have felt the same way a couple of times, which is probably why she didn't flip out on me. I respected her for that.

I decided to change the topic. "So… Elliot's marriage is down the toilet?"

Olivia shot me a look of confusion, but I swore I could see some happiness in there. "What do you mean?"

"He wasn't wearing his wedding ring. And…" I got out of my chair, and went to Elliot's desk. I found the papers I was looking for in a manila envelope. "…divorce papers. Signed." I held them up.

Her eyes widened. "He never… he never told me." She stammered.

I gently pressed my pointer finger to the signature. A little bit of ink rubbed off. "That's because they were just signed." I held up my finger. "Ink."

She opened her mouth to say something, but was interrupted by Elliot bursting in, dragging a man in handcuffs to the interrogation room. I quickly closed the folder, and turned to Olivia. "Guess that's our cue."

The Captain quickly ran out of his office to catch up to Elliot and Munch, and motioned to Olivia and I to follow. We did so, obediently.

Elliot put Mr. Groxton in the chair, told him to stay, and came out to me, Olivia, the Captain, and Munch. I stared at him through the one-way window, and instantly thought of Superman. He could see through anything; maybe this was Superman's evil twin brother.

"Olivia, Alec, good cop bad cop." He then handed Olivia a manila envelope, probably of the pictures of Alessandra's body.

We nodded, and began to head in. Before opening the door, Olivia looked at me, as if to say, "Ready?"

I nodded, with rage bubbling inside me.


	7. 7: The Real Deal

**Chapter Seven—The Real Deal**

"So, Mr. Groxton… you know why you're here?" Asked Olivia, sitting down comfortably in a steel chair. I leaned against the wall, my arms crossed and my foot aligned with my back.

"Yeah," he spat out, "for a crime I didn't commit."

"Really? Because we have an eye-witness that says you did." Olivia retorted. It was almost amusing to see her kindness and compassion drain dramatically out of her chocolate-brown eyes. If you never met her, and she was interrogating you, you'd be scared.

"And when the DNA from your daughter's rape kit comes back, and it shows your DNA, we'll have science on our side, too." I said, truthfully disgusted.

"How could you people think that I would do such a thing to my daughter?"

"I don't know, you tell us." I pulled a chair next to him, sat on it backward, and glared at him. "Detective, show him the pictures." I said. Olivia nodded, and opened the envelope.

Olivia spread the photos out on the table. Once Mr. Groxton caught sight of them, he grimaced, and turned his head. "Put those away, I don't want to see them."

"Oh, so you're disgusted by your own work? Did it finally hit you, that you raped your own daughter?" I asked, my voice getting a little louder each time. Only this wasn't me. It was my rage.

"We'll make you a deal. You confess that you did this, and maybe our ADA won't give you the death sentence." Olivia said, more coolly.

"Why? I didn't do—" I couldn't contain it. I slammed one fist on the table, and used my other hand to grab his head, making him look at the pictures.

"Damn you!" I yelled. "You did this! To your own daughter! You took away her innocence, her sense of security; you basically took away her life! She's your own flesh and blood! And you destroyed every single chance of bonding with her! Why?!" My grip became tighter on his head, and with each word I said, he wriggled to get free. Olivia looked at my "technique", and continued to let me do what I was doing.

"I DIDN'T DO THIS!" He yelled. He tried to throw a punch at me, but I caught his fist. His face of anger and hate towards me dramatically flushed, and was replaced with fear and panic.

"Then who did?" I said lowly, in a menacing whisper.

He sighed. "I… I don't know."

I still held is fist and his head. Once my mind cleared, and a few more questions popped into it, I dropped them. I then asked, "Did you loan your I.D. to anyone?"

Still afraid of me, he shook his head no. "But I did lose it a couple of days ago."

"Where?" I asked.

"Where I work. 34th floor of the Empire State Building. I had it on my desk because I was buying something for my wife, and then someone called me over. I left it on my desk for about five minutes, and then it was gone when I returned."

"Do you have any siblings?" Asked Olivia, darkly.

"No… I was always an only child."

My gut told me that this time, he was telling the truth.

"We need a DNA sample." Olivia said.

"Why? I didn't do anything wrong."

"I know, that's why we need it, to prove your innocence."

He considered this for a minute. "No."

Annoyed, I placed a hand on his head. "You know," I said, and I plucked some hair off, "you really hate us, don't you?"

Olivia opened her mouth to ask a question, but then a man in a plain black business suit and red tie walked in. "Detectives, interview is over. I am taking this man home to his wife and daughter. You," he said, pointing to me. "put those away. No one wants to see that." He was referring to the pictures on the table.

I began to stand up, but Olivia said in a low whisper, "Easy, c'mon." I sat down.

Because I was shaking, Olivia put the pictures away. I grabbed the hairs from the table, and walked out of the interrogation room. I met up with Elliot, Cragen, and Munch, and noticed that they all looked at me, gaping slightly.

"I guess I when you said 'a bit of a temper', you weren't kidding." Said Cragen, with his arms crossed.

"Sorry, Captain." I said. "I have DNA, though."

He held out his palm, and I put the hairs in his hand. "Will that work?"

He smiled. "Perfectly."

"Great reflexes." Elliot said with a smile, his arms crossed. "Did you take karate?" He asked, a little bit stunned.

I took a second to register the sudden topic change, before I answered, "I used to. I still practice my reflexes, though." I replied. I turned to Munch. "Did I scare you?" I asked, sincerely concerned.

He shook his head. "Just surprised that that can come out of someone like you."

I smirked. "I kind of let my rage control me sometimes." I admitted.

"Well, you did great. Made him spill a lot of stuff." Olivia said, complimenting me.

"Detectives!" Someone called from behind. I turned, to find a doctor walking to us.

She noticed me first, and said, "Hi, Melinda Warner. I study the bodies." She held out a friendly hand.

"Oh!" I said, shaking it. "Alec Bay."

She smiled. "Pleasure." She then turned her attention to the mass of us. "The rape kit came back."


	8. 8: Interruption

**Chapter Eight—Interruption**

"So, I looked up the perp's DNA in the system, and…." Melinda said, showing us the info on the computer. It was only Olivia, Elliot, and I in the lab. Munch had gone home, demanding us to call him if anything else had happened. Cragen had also given Groxton's DNA to Melinda, and she said it would be ready in the morning.

"Nothing." Olivia finished. "This guy has a clean record."

"Or he changed identities," I chimed.

"Guy, though, he has X chromosomes." Melinda muttered.

"But why Alessandra? What made her so important?" Asked Elliot.

"I don't know. We need a pattern, sadly." Said Melinda. I could tell right there in her face that she had a little one of her own.

"There was something unusual about her, though." I said. They all turned their attention to me. "What?" Elliot asked for the group.

"She had two different colored eyes. One was my exact shade of blue, the other was a dark, forest green. She looked like a normal seven year old, besides that." I said.

"Oh yeah," said Olivia, recollecting. "I noticed that, too."

"You think it's eye color?" Melinda asked.

I shrugged. "Maybe. But I think it has to be noticeable, because, for example, I have a small, streak of yellow in my right eye. And no one ever notices it until I point it out to them." All three of them looked at my eye, and nodded.

"So maybe that's one thing that turns him on."

"Maybe that's the only thing," Elliot responded to Olivia.

Just then, Olivia's phone started to ring. She walked out of the little circle that we were making around the table, and answered her call. "Benson,"

"So you think that's it?" Elliot asked.

"Well, different colored eyes, and young girls."

"But why do you think—" Elliot was cut off by Olivia.

"Another victim. 272 Forest Ridge Lane, Manhattan."

"Am I rolling with you guys?" I asked.

They nodded. "I'll drive." Elliot said.

I sat in the back, letting Olivia sit up front. I didn't mind, honestly; more leg room. Also, I wanted to catch their looks at each other from a slight distance. I had forgotten what they had said, but at one point, they were staring so deeply into each other's, eyes you would have thought it was a really cheesy romance movie.

We had finally arrived at the house, which had two police cruisers guarding it, and yellow crime scene tape. My stomach flipped.

One police man stood outside. Olivia did all the talking. "You called? Special Victims Unit." We all flashed our badges. "What's up?"

"Dead body. You guys might want to check it out." We nodded our thanks, and headed inside.

I nearly toppled over when I saw the tiny, little, seven-year old body covered in blood. "Jesus," I breathed. Olivia looked over to me, concern dancing in her eyes. I shot her a look as if to say, "It's okay, I'm fine," through my eyes, and she looked back at the body.

"Look at this," I said, pointing to her neck. "Strangulation marks. And it looks like she was hit with something…" I had to literally fight back tears as I examined the little body lying limp on the floor.

"Like this?" Olivia asked, holding a bloody lamp.

"That would do it," I said, quietly.

After saying these things, I noticed that Elliot remained quiet. I stood next to him, pretending to examine the body as Olivia poked around the house more. "You okay?" I asked in a low whisper, so low that only he could hear.

"I'm fine," he said, softly, in the same tone.

I knew he wasn't a man to talk about his feelings, so I just simply said, "Okay," and patted his shoulder. I caught up with Olivia, who was in the girl's room.

"Wow," I said, entering it. Everything was pink; the bed, the walls, the blinds, even her bureau frame was pink. The only thing that wasn't, though was her white, four-post bed with a cloth-material "roof" over it. She also had piles of stuffed animals, neatly arranged in different positions.

"I always wanted a room like this," Olivia admitted.

"Oh. I always wanted a room with sports-car posters plastered all over it. I made it work, though." I said, sheepishly.

She smiled, and began to examine the pictures in the child's room. "Alec," she said, motioning for me to come over. She picked up a pictured of the girl, and her mom.

"Look at her eyes," she said, and pointed to them.

"Different colors. One light brown, one dark blue." I muttered.

"Yup." She shook her head in disbelief.

"Do you know if there is anyone here we can question?" I asked Olivia, who was beginning to tear up. I pretended not to notice.

"Um, the mother, I think." Said Olivia.

"Okay. Let's go." I said softly, and I patted her back.

I waited for Olivia to get up, and wipe her eyes. She nodded, and we headed out the room.

We walked down the corridor, to find Munch and Elliot questioning the mother.

"…here when she was murdered?"

"No!" The mother exclaimed, bursting into tears and burying her head in her hands. I tapped Elliot's shoulder, and said, "May I?" he nodded, and I took the spot where he was sitting in.

"Hi, Mrs…?"

"Eichenburg." She finished, and wiped her eyes with her sleeves.

I nodded. "I'm sorry if my partners intimidated you, they were only trying to figure out who killed your daughter." I said, softly.

"I know, I'm sorry." She looked up. "It's just so hard!" She buried her head in her hands again, and Olivia rubbed her back.

"We understand," Olivia cooed softly. "But we need to ask you a few questions."

Mrs. Eichenburg nodded. "Okay," her breathing was hard and short, from lack of breath between sobs.

"Breathe, please." I said, and wrapped my business suit around her shoulders; she was shivering. It took about a minute or so, but when her breathing returned back to normal, Olivia asked the first question: "Did you see anything?"


	9. 9: The Twist

**Chapter Eight— The Twist **

"So she didn't see anything, she walked in her apartment to see her seven year old daughter, Molly Eichenburg, laying dead on the kitchen floor."

"No dad," I continued with Olivia, "he left the picture a week after a week Molly was born. And her mom was working on graveyard shift for her job, which was waitressing."

"Did she say where?" Elliot asked, walking over to Olivia and I. We were in the precinct, hovering over my desk.

"Uh," I muttered, looking through my notes, "'Donna's.'" I said, looking up at Olivia and Elliot.

"That's only a couple blocks away from where Molly Eichenburg lives." Olivia said, looking at Elliot.

"Why would someone leave a seven year old alone? My parents trusted me alone when I was thirteen." I said, scrunching my eyebrows together.

"Bad parenting?" Olivia guessed.

"Maybe." Elliot muttered.

"She had two different colored eyes. One brown, one blue. And she was seven—exactly like Alessandra Groxton." I said. "This guy's got a pattern."

Melinda walked into the precinct, suddenly. "Guys? We have the DNA from the rapist and Groxton. You might want to see this."

We followed Melinda into the lab, and found ourselves staring at the DNA on the x-ray board.

"This is Groxton's DNA…" she pointed the picture on the right, "…and this is the rapist's DNA." She pointed to the DNA on the left.

"Now, if I line these up, this column is the exact same as Groxton's."

I shook my head. "When I interrogated him, I asked if he had any siblings. He said no; that was the only thing I believed from him. You could see it in his eyes." I said, my head shaking.

Everyone gave me a strange look; I then realized that what had come out of my mouth sounded like it came from a cheesy '80's movie. "I… I read people." I muttered. Olivia and Elliot nodded.

"So… sibling?" I asked.

Melinda shook her head. "Son."

"That's impossible, he's 46. He had Alessandra when he was thirty nine."

"High school prom night?" Asked Olivia, still staring at the DNA samples.

Melinda nodded. "When he was sixteen, I'm guessing. His son is thirty."

"Oh wow, I was just guessing." Olivia muttered.

I sighed, and shook my head. I heard the others sigh, and I didn't blame them.

"Do we have an I.D.?"

Melinda nodded. "I ran his DNA through the system, and then the DNA from the people in the accountants' office. Apparently, Cragen did that one himself." Melinda said, after studying our puzzled looks. But she continued. "If found that this one who matches the rapist DNA and Groxton's, is this guy called Joshua Saradin."

My heart sank, and my stomach did at least twenty back-flips. I felt my face drain of color, but I tried to hide my expression.

"That's… that's his son?" I asked, trying to hide my surprise.

Melinda nodded. "You know him?"

I shook my head. "No no no… he went to my high school. That's all." I placed my hand on the counter, and leaned against it.

"Did he know?" Elliot asked.

"Well, obviously not. If his love for Alessandra isn't all for show, then he would have wanted to raise him."

I "psh"'d under my breath.

Just then, Cragen walked in. "Guys, it's 1 A.M. Go home, get some rest. We'll continue in the morning."

We all nodded. I started to head out the door, when Olivia tapped my shoulder. "Need a lift?" She smiled, heavy bags hanging under her eyes.

I smiled back, weakly. "No, I'm good. Thanks."

She nodded, and walked out with Elliot. I headed out to my car, my destination set in my mind.


	10. 10: Reflect

**Chapter Nine—Reflect**

I parked my car on the ledge, like I always did. It was about a two minute climb up the hill to get to the top.

That hill had the prettiest view ever. It showed all of the lines of the mountains, and on a clear night, the moon would glisten off of every peak. There was room for about three, and the top was flat. I came here when something bad happened.

I finally got to the top, and as always, the view was breathtaking. I stared out into the distance as I thought about the case; mainly about Joshua Saradin. Some guy at my high school… what a lame excuse.

"Hey," a voice said softly, behind me. In my surprise, I turned around. Olivia was climbing up the hill, and once at the top, sat cross-legged next to me.

"Hey…" I said, wearily. "How did you know I was here?"

"I followed you. I was worried. Your face completely drained of color when Groxton's son's name was said."

I kept my head down, and didn't say anything.

"He wasn't just a guy in high-school, was he?" She asked, softly. She wasn't interrogating me; she was trying to be there for me. I sighed, heavily, and said, "I really don't want to talk about it. But I can tell you one thing; he's the reason I don't trust anyone." And, once again, I closed the door on her.

"So he's the reason you don't fall in love." Olivia murmured. She looked at me, and I looked back at her, my expression blank. "Alec…I don't know why you don't trust anyone, but I understand that it was something huge." she sighed. "I don't know what to say. But please know that everyone in the precinct is here for you. You… you can trust us."

I nodded. "I know." I sighed. "Liv, listen to me. Elliot signed his divorce papers, Kathy is out of his life… he's single. Now is the perfect time to make a small move. Because if you don't, he isn't going to either. And then you'll both live your life not making a move, regretting it every day. Listen to me," I said, when she bit her lip and looked away. "live the life I never can. He's a great person. But I don't think I need to tell you that."

She looked at me, her eyes glistening from the light of the moon. She didn't say anything, she only nodded slowly. I shook my head and smiled. "Man," I sighed, "I could stay up her for hours. I've done it before." I smiled at her.

"Yeah?" She asked, smiling. She was very open to the topic change.

I nodded. "I used to come here when I was little. I lived only half a mile away. I found this place, once, while hiking. I came here when I couldn't escape the noise of my parents yelling." I sighed. "It's not owned, so I'm not trespassing. And if I am…" I shrugged. "Oops."

Olivia smiled sympathetically; it lit up my night and my mood. "So what about you? Any secret hideouts you went to?"

She nodded. "There was a field that was a five minutes away from where I used to live. I just used to lay in it, enjoying being alone. And that's when Elliot entered my life." She looked at me, and I raised my eyebrows. "Do tell."

She smiled. "I was about thirteen. I had come to the field, because I needed to get away from… everything. I heard a twig snap, and I snapped my head up from the wheat stalks. He was standing there, in jeans and a Boston College sweatshirt. He had more hair back then." I chuckled, and she continued. "He asked if he could join me, and I said yes. We looked at the stars and talked for hours. And then we both end up as partners on the force." She smiled. "But it was that night. I knew that he was the one that night. I never stopped melting for him ever since."

I laughed, and said, "That's awesome. I wish that happened to me. But I'm glad it happened to you." I smiled.

I felt my phone buzz. The caller I.D. said "CRAGEN". "It's Cragen." I said to Olivia. She gave me a puzzled look, and I answered the call.

"Bay," I said, professionally.

"Alec, it's Cragen. Is Olivia with you?"

"Yes, sir," I said, and involuntarily looked over at Olivia.

"You guys need to come back to the precinct. Elliot is here with me."

"Yes sir. I'll tell Liv." Click.

"Well?" Asked Olivia, demanding.

"It's Cragen. He wants us in the precinct."


	11. 11: Old Demons and Ghosts

**Chapter Ten—Old Demons and Ghosts**

"Hey," I said, seeing Elliot.

"Oh hey—you're still wearing your work clothes?" I looked down; I hadn't realized.

"I figured," he muttered, and pulled out a bag from under his desk."Put these on," he threw a pair of dark Levi's at my face.

"You bought me jeans?" I asked, honored but totally confused.

He nodded. "Think of it as a 'Welcome to the Graveyard Shift' gift."

I smiled. "Thanks." He smiled, and turned on his heel towards the interrogation rooms. Olivia followed, and said, "Take your time."

"Why?" I asked, my mind racking the possible reasons why I could take my time. "You'll see." She said, answering my question.

Even though I was suspicious, I shrugged and quickly changed into my jeans. I looked at myself in the mirror—A pair of black high-heels, a black business jacket, and a blue blouse actually worked with my dark jeans. I smirked smugly, and walked to the interrogation rooms.

With every step I took, my heart pounded more fiercely. I didn't know why; it was as if my sixth sense was telling me to back out. Now.

I stepped into the group of Munch, Cragen, Elliot, and Olivia. "And we're back," I joked.

They all smiled, but all of their expressions were weak. Heavy bags hung under each of their eyes, and they all looked like they were about to topple over from exhaustion. Come to think of it, I wanted to do that, too.

"Alec, we got Joshua Saradin." I looked into the interrogation room, and saw Joshua Saradin. He looked like he did 14 years ago…

My heart stopped, and I snapped my head to Cragen. "Where did you find him?" I asked; the question came out harsher than I had meant it to be.

"Manhattan." He replied, not offended by the tone in my voice.

"So, is it Alec and I again?" Asked Olivia, watching my reactions carefully.

Cragen nodded. "I'll send Elliot in if you guys need anything."

I stared back through the window, and was thankful for the magical mechanism that made this window one-way. Olivia walked in first, giving me a quick glance backward, and I followed her.

He looked up, and at first his face expression remained blank, maybe with a little bit more annoyance. But when he saw me, and his brain registered that it was me, his face lit up. It made me almost sick to my stomach.

I leaned against the wall, trying to stay as far away from him as humanly possible.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't Alec Bay? You haven't changed a bit, maybe just gotten a little bit hotter." He gave me a lust-filled look. I glared at him, and caught Olivia looking at him with the same expression as mine.

"Mr. Saradin, please don't hit on our detective. We're not a dating service." Olivia spat.

Josh crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair. He gave Olivia a smug look, and said, "Why not? We have a…_history, _together." He licked his lips.

"You bastard," I muttered, looking up at him. I so badly wanted to lunge across the table and beat him unconscious… but I pushed the feeling aside. Momentarily.

"Admit it, Alec, you were all over me that night. You couldn't get enough of me—"

I slammed my hands on the table, hunching over. "YOU RAPED ME!" I yelled, at the top of my lungs. "IT WAS AGAINST MY OWN FRICKEN WILL! AND YOU CALL THAT 'ALL OVER YOU'?!" I lunged for him, but Olivia caught me right before I could throw a punch at his nose.

I was panting, as Olivia had her arms locked around my torso to keep me from attacking Josh. Josh was standing a few paces away from the table. He was smiling, deviously. "Still got some fight in you, don't ya? One thing I liked about you."

"Shut the hell up," Olivia said to Josh, darkly. "Do you want to go on with this?" She whispered in my ear. Before I could respond, she said, "And if you say no, it doesn't mean you're weak. You faced him, and that's pretty damn strong. You've got nothing to prove—we believe you." I thought about this. "I can't do this." I whispered back to her. She nodded, and I walked out of the interrogation room.

"I guess you're up, Elliot." Cragen said to Elliot. He nodded, and then said before he walked out, "You okay?"

"I'm fine," I lied, keep my eyes glued to the doorstopper of the door leading into the interrogation room. He nodded, and headed in to question Joshua.

I crossed my arms, and stood next to Munch and Cragen. "Sorry, guys."

They both shook their heads. "You have every right to have reacted the way you did." Munch said.

"Don't worry. You won't have to do that again." Cragen added. I nodded my thanks, and Munch wrapped an arm around me. It wasn't until then that I noticed that I was shaking.

"So, you get why you're here?" Asked Elliot, sitting backwards in a chair next to Josh. Olivia sat across.

"Because you morons have reason to believe that I raped two seven year old girls."

"And killed one of them." Elliot said, sharply.

"Now you get to see what HIS temper is like," Munch said to me. I nodded.

"And what makes you think that?" Josh spat.

"We found your DNA in Alessandra Groxton." Olivia said. Her voice was calm but her eyes stayed as dark as pebbles.

"The one you didn't kill." Elliot said, angrily.

"How? I have a clean record, so therefore I'm not in the system." Josh said, looking smug.

"We hooked up your DNA to your father. And when you hook two up together that are related, we can get an I.D." Olivia said, coolly.

"Well see, that's the funny thing. When we hooked up your DNA with—"

"My father died when I was two." Josh said, firmly.

"Oh, no, he didn't. He's the father of the one you didn't kill. And we got DNA from him, and then the DNA from the rape kit from you, and your alleles matched. Because, at first we thought it was him who raped his own daughter. But when we realized that it was you—"

"My father is dead." Josh said, louder.

"He's not, we met him." Olivia said. She held up a picture. I smiled when I saw Josh realize what he had done.

"So… if I were the rapist, then I would have had sex… with my sister?"

Elliot nodded. "Yup."

Just then, Josh threw up all over the table. Olivia quickly stood up and backed away. Josh finally stammered, "I did it. I did it. I raped both of them."

Elliot suddenly shoved Josh against a wall. "And Detective Bay?"

Josh nodded. "Her too."

Elliot cuffed Josh and read him his rights, and Cragen helped Elliot lead Josh out of the area. Olivia walked over and stood next to me. She rubbed my back, and Munch's arm remained around my shoulder. I stood there, staring at an empty interrogation room. I had faced one of my biggest fears, and he admitted he raped me. But why didn't I feel happy?


	12. 12: Let's Bring her In, Shall We?

**Chapter 11—Let's Bring her In, Shall We?**

Casey walked up to us, her business suit and jacket. I couldn't help but smile when I saw her; I had almost forgotten about her.

"Hey guys," She said, smiling. We all gave our chorus of "hey"'s.

"Alec… was that Joshua Saradin walking back there?" She was in disbelief.

I nodded, slowly. "He just admitted that he raped those girls, so El and Cragen are putting him in the holding cell until his lawyer shows up." I looked up at Casey, and nodded slowly. She was the only one I had told. She opened her mouth to say something, but closed it again. "They know. I yelled it at him. Liv had to hold me so I wouldn't strangle him." I told her, timidly.

"She always had a strong grip," Casey muttered. Olivia half-heartedly chuckled.

"I shouldn't have gone in there. I knew I would flip out. I just…I just wanted to be there when he confessed. I… I don't know." I muttered. I wanted to leave, though.

I hugged Munch, Olivia, and Casey, in that order. They were all surprised and a little caught off guard when I hugged them, but each returned the hug nonetheless. Once releasing from Casey, I muttered. "Excuse me," and walked down the hall, my heels being the only sound. I felt of their eyes staring at me, all of them seemingly afraid to breathe. And I knew this was out of concern.

After about ten minutes, I heard something shuffle across my desk from me. I looked up, and Olivia said softly, "Hey."

"Hey," I returned, with the same tone.

"I shouldn't have let you go in there. I'm sorry." Olivia apologized, truthfully.

"You don't need to apologize. I wanted to go in there. Don't blame yourself, if that's what you're doing." I looked up at Olivia, and she nodded.

Olivia sighed. "Do you want to come and see Casey make a deal with this guy? I figured inflicting emotional pain on him would be good enough for you." I nodded. Before Olivia stood up, I said quietly, "Liv?"

She turned, "Yeah?"

"I'm sorry." I said, while unintentionally grimacing.

"Why?" She asked, softly.

"For bringing my personal crap into this. I should have kept my composure."

She shook her head. "When things like this happen," she bit her lip and looked down. She then looked up again, and said, "we all lose it."

I smiled, weakly. "Thanks."

She patted my shoulder, and we walked to the interrogation room, to find Casey talking to Josh's lawyer. Olivia, Elliot, and I found ourselves sticking to each other, leaning against a wall.

"…want a deal." The lawyer said, with Josh next to him.

Casey psh'd him. "There is no deal. He admitted he was guilty, and we have proof. He is a cold-blooded rapist, committing three rapes: Alessandra Groxton, Molly Eichneburg, and," she paused, and looked down at her folders. She looked up again, trying to fight back tears. "Detective Alec Bay." She looked back at me, and I looked at her, trying to avoid the urge of hugging Casey and strangling Josh.

"N-no deal?" Josh stammered. Casey got right in his face, at least two inches away from their noses touching. "Nope." She said, darkly. She then turned to his lawyer, and said, "The trial is tomorrow morning at nine." She walked out, and patted my shoulder discreetly before she left.

Josh looked at me, and then spat in my direction. "Better watch your back, bitch." He said, pure hate in his eyes.

Olivia had a hand on my shoulder, just in case I lunged again. And even though I was so angry that I was about to nearly kill him, I calmly said, "Should have thought about that while you were raping me and those other girls." I glared at him, and walked out. Olivia followed, keeping close to me.

I clenched my fists at my side, and watched Casey draw circles on the interrogation table while Josh and his lawyer walked out. I looked away when they passed.

Olivia rubbed my back, and she said, "Alec, you're really shaking."

I turned to her. "I am?" I held up my hand. "I need to sit down." She nodded, and I headed to my desk. Once there, I sat down. I tried to write something, anything, but it just came out as squiggles. I breathed slowly, and then realized that it was because I was so angry. My mom had that same trait, and it passed down to me.

I buried my face in my hands. "Everyone, go to the cribs in an hour. Get some rest, and set your alarms for six." Cragen called.

"Hey, I'm gonna catch up to Elliot. Your bed is right across from mine."

I nodded, and said, "Thanks."

I walked alone for a couple of steps, and then I heard an "Alec!"

It was Casey. "Wait up!" She called. I waited, and she linked arms with me, like we always did when we walked with each other. "You… you okay?"

I nodded. I was still shaking, but not as bad as before. I almost laughed when I said, "You almost killed him in there. I saw your eyes flaming."

She smiled, and shook her head. "I did want to kill him. He hurt you, and two other innocent girls."

"I think I know why he liked me in high-school." I said, looking straight ahead.

Casey scrunched her eyebrows together. "Why?"

"Because of the yellow streak in my eye. Then he developed and matured, and went for kids with two entirely different colored eyes."

"Hmm," Casey muttered. She then stopped, and stood in front of me, blocking my way. "Alec, know that I'm always here for you. No matter what."

I smiled, and pulled her into a hug. "I know. Now let's go, I'm exhausted."

She chuckled, and link arms with me again. "Me too."

We walked for about a minute or so, and then I heard voices. "Hey, Alec, why do you think—"

"Shh!" I shh'd her. I pointed to Olivia and Elliot, who were talking outside of the cribs. She placed her head on my shoulder, and we watched Elliot and Olivia.

"How's Alec?" Elliot asked.

"Still shaken up. I feel so bad for her. She flipped out when she saw Saradin—I don't blame her."

Elliot nodded. "Liv, I gotta tell you something. The divorce papers came in, and I signed them. I sent them out right after we left."

Olivia, of course, knew this, but to hear it from Elliot made it worth the world to her. "Really?" She pretended to sound sad—she pulled it off well. "Elliot, I'm so—"

He put his hands behind Olivia's ears, and held her head. He looked down at her, his eyes swimming in hers. "I'm not." He pulled his lips to hers, kissing passionately. Olivia wrapped her arms around Elliot's neck, pushing herself against Elliot. They both pulled back, both of them not believing that they could have what they wanted most. "I love you, Liv. Ever since that night in the field I've loved you." They kissed again, and hugged when they pulled back.

Olivia then let a small, devious smile spread across her face, and she delicately pulled Elliot's hand, leading him into the cribs. They closed the door behind them, and it locked.

I turned to Casey. "What… what do we do?" I asked. Should I tell someone? Should I guard the door so no one goes in?

Casey shrugged. "Let them have their fun. An hour to get out all of that sexual tension… they would be in there for days if they were able to."

I smiled. "So, how do we kill an hour?"

Casey and I killed an hour by playing Scattegories—the best board game in the world. She beat me by three points.

After cleaning up the game (my alarm had rang, which stopped our fun), we walked back to the cribs, both of us hesitating to open the door. "I'll do it," I said, praying that I didn't walk in on Elliot and Olivia.

Thankfully, I didn't. They were both lying on their beds, talking. "Oh, hey guys." Olivia said, warmly.

I smiled, mainly because I was happy for both of them. "Hey," Casey and I said, and I sat down on my bed. It was actually really comfortable.

I lay down on my bed, my hands resting on my stomach. The sounds of Casey, Elliot, and Olivia's voice drowned my thoughts and my memories of everything that had happened that night, and before I knew it, I was asleep.


	13. 13: Heading Towards the Trial

**Chapter 12—Heading towards the Trial **

Casey drove me to the courthouse that morning. We had stopped at my apartment so I could change, and I made some coffee for the both of us.

Back in the car, Casey said, "You know you're testifying, right? Please say yes."

I chuckled. "Yeah, I know." I looked down at my black, business pants.

"Nervous?" She asked.

I nodded. "A little. I wonder if—" and then something exploded.

I turned, to see what it was. It all happened in slow motion; turning my head, and seeing the window shatter into a million pieces. And then the throbbing pain in my side.

Casey swerved the car to the emergency lane, and turned to me. She was yelling—I could tell by the vain popping out on her forehead—but she wasn't yelling because she was mad; tears were streaming down her face in remorse. I couldn't hear her, for my ears had blocked out all of the sound around me.

With all of my strength, I put a hand on my side, where it hurt the most. I felt my hand go up in temperature, and looked down at it. Blood. I was covered in my own blood.

I looked back at Casey, with my eyes only. She was gripping onto my hand (even though it was covered in blood), and I read her lips: Stay with me.

But I couldn't. I felt myself fading, and the next thing I knew…

…My world turned black.

I snuck back into consciousness two times: one time I was being lifted on a stretcher onto an ambulance, seeing Olivia, Elliot, and Casey's face. The other time I was in the hospital, and being rushed to a room. I glanced up at the sign: ER. I didn't snap back after reading the sign.

I woke up, feeling completely exhausted, as if I were hit by a truck. I looked around; bad fluorescent lighting, people in scrubs… I was in a hospital.

I tried to turn my head, but found that even the slightest movement hurt like hell. So, I used only my eyes, to see Munch, Olivia, Elliot, and Casey, crowded around my bed, talking. My hearing slowly came back, as I asked, "What the hell happened?"

All of their heads snapped up, all looking intensely at me. I was surprised to see how gruff my voice sounded, as if I hadn't talked in… days.

"You… you were shot." Olivia said, slowly. "If you hadn't thrown your arms up in defense, you'd be dead." Her voice cracked on the word "dead".

"Anyone else get hurt?" I said, my voice slowly returning to normal.

"No." Casey said.

I decided to save the questions for later, because I knew one of them was going to cut me off. "It's good to see you guys," I said, and smiled. I then realized that only half of my face would respond. With all of my strength, I lifted a hand up to the other side of my face. I lightly brushed my hand against it, and felt that I had a black eye, a few bumps and stitched up cuts near my cheekbone, and my chin was scratched up.

"It's good to see you awake," Elliot said, tears in his eyes. I then looked at everyone; all of them had tears in their eyes.

I scanned all of them quickly, and then said, "I wasn't supposed to wake up, was I?"

Casey, who was holding my hand, let her head fall to my hand and sobbed into it. Olivia, who translated, said, "You coded. Twice." She went to the other side of my bed, and sat next to me. Elliot and Munch sat at the end of my bed, next to each other.

"Cragen sends his regards." Elliot said, his eyes twinkling.

I nodded, slowly. "So, besides my face… did I break anything else? I feel like my ribs cracked."

"All of your ribs on your right side." Munch responded, leaning on his elbow.

"That sucks," I muttered. For some reason, the whole room burst into laughter. Maybe it was because none of them had been breathing since the moment I went into ER, or maybe it was because that I had said something that brought out my personality, and they thought they'd never see it again. Whatever the reason, they were happy, and I was glad.

"Do I get to continue onto the case?" I asked, turning to Casey. She lifted her head, her face red and wet from tears. She wiped her eyes, and cleared her throat.

"I…" she was breathing hard. I patted her hand to tell her that she didn't have to answer, and Olivia continued for her.

"Cragen said when you can walk again, you can continue on."

I nodded. I didn't think that was fair, but I didn't want to argue now. "What time is it?" I asked, wearily.

A chorus of "midnight"'s broke out.

"Guys, go home. Elliot, send your wife and kids my regards. Munch, you do the same. Case, Liv, get some sleep. You guys shouldn't worry about me, I'll be fine."

Elliot and Munch nodded. "Get some rest. Please." Elliot begged me, as he stood up.

"Feel better. We'll be back later." Munch added, and both of them walked out the door.

I looked over at Olivia and Casey. "Well? Guys?" I said. Both of them didn't budge.

"We're not leaving you." Olivia said, firmly.

"Over my dead body." Casey added.

I couldn't hide my smile, I was really glad that they were staying. "I'm not going to lie, I really like you guys staying. But if you're falling asleep on piles of D-5's, don't say I didn't warn you." I looked at both of them, and they smiled.

We were silent for a moment, all of us breathing slowly. "Did I really almost die?" I asked. I was in disbelief, to be honest.

They both nodded. "You coded twice while you were in ER. All of us refused to leave the waiting room, and when they didn't let us see you at first, we took advantage of our badges. By the way, I brought yours." Olivia reached into her pocket, and pulled out my shield. I looked at it, rubbing my thumb across the metal.

"I wonder what kept me alive," I muttered.

Olivia shrugged. "The good thing is, is that you're alive. And even though I've only known you for about a day," she shook her head, "I can't imagine you dying." She pursed her lips together, and scrunched her eyebrows.

"Did you see anything?" Asked Casey. I almost laughed; Casey was notorious for her strange questions.

"See what?" I asked, interested.

"When you were unconscious. Or when you…" she couldn't bring herself to say the word "coded".

I racked my brain for a moment. Had I? I thought about it for a moment more.

"Actually, I did." I muttered. This got Olivia's attention; she brought her head up from looking at my hand. "I saw you guys. Both of you, Elliot, Munch, and even Cragen. I think I stayed alive, because I wanted to spend more time with you all. And it wasn't like a still picture of all of you, it was a memory. All of us laughing, all of us having a brief moment of happiness in the cruel world we live in."

"Wow," they both whispered.

"Because of us?" Asked Olivia, her dark, brown eyes searching for answers.

I nodded. "I just saw you guys. And then… I woke up here." I changed the topic. "So, who tried to kill me?" I asked if as if I were asking who had used my toothbrush.

Casey answered this one. "We think it was either Josh, or someone Josh knew. If you weren't going to testify, I bet this wouldn't have happened." Casey said the last sentence darkly.

"You're probably right," Said Olivia, a light-bulb lighting in her brain.

"So, can I help catch my almost-killer?"

They smiled at each other. "We'll sneak files to you. Cragen doesn't want us to, but you deserve to get a piece of the action." Casey said.

I smiled, again only half of my face responding. "Thanks, guys."

"Do you want anything? Coffee, food…?" Asked Olivia, who looked like she was going to collapse at any second.

"No, no, I'm fine. You look like you'd fall asleep in the elevator." She laughed, weakly.

I closed my eyes to blink, and I realized that I couldn't open them. When I finally did, I found Olivia and Casey knocked out in their chairs beside me.

I checked my watch—1 A.M.

I sighed, and looked over at my two best friends. "Thanks," I whispered to both of them. I then dozed off, dreaming of the memory I had when I coded: pure happiness.


	14. 14: In the Hospital

**Chapter 13—In the Hospital**

I woke up the next morning, to find both of my companions had left me. I sighed, and looked over to my right where my bed-stand was. I smiled when I noticed a steaming cup of coffee and a note written on a napkin next to me. I went to pick both of them up, and noticed that I had a lot more strength than I did the night before.

I took a sip of my coffee, and sipped it. Milk only, just how I liked it. Casey probably helped with that one.

I then picked up the napkin, with the faded Starbucks symbol behind the letters. The napkin read:

Alec! Casey and I went to the precinct to get to work on who tried to shoot you. We'll be there around four, to sneak you files. UNTIL THEN, please get some rest and heal. Casey says that there is a Red Sox game on at 1:00 (I think she also said that they're facing the Yankees).

Don't code on us again, or I swear I'll strangle you in your grave. ;)

Truly,

Liv

P.S., I better have gotten the right coffee—I had to wait an hour in line for it.

I laughed after I read the note. As I put it down, I looked over at the time—12:55. I grabbed the clicker from the side of my bed, and put on NESN. They were just wrapping up the pre-game show, and Casey was right; they were facing the Yankees.

I settled in for a good game. This was going to take a while.

Then, a nurse dressed in purple walked in. "Hi…" I said, warily.

She said nothing. She just simply put a shot in my IV chord. I felt myself slowly drifting off to sleep, when I heard her say, "Yeah she's out cold. We'll hold her for ransom, and the people who love her most will give their life for her. This'll be good."


	15. 15: Kidnapped

**Chapter Fifteen-- Kidnapped**

I woke up in an uncomfortable position. I felt my hands and feet bound on a chair, and my mouth covered in duct tape. My eyes were uncovered, though, which worried me; they were going to shoot someone in front of me.

I heard voices. One was a female, one was a male.

The male voice asked, "When are they gonna be here? We said 11:30, or she dies. It's 11:25."

My heart skipped a beat. Dies. They were going to shoot me?

"I don't know. But I've been itching to pull the trigger on this bitch. Throwing my brother in prison like that—they were sweethearts in high school, you know." I heard a gun load, and he continued. "She broke it off though, because she didn't want to have sex. She claimed that my brother raped her. Psh." A pause. "11:28."

I prayed for whoever was coming for me, would hurry. I figured I was under a pier, or at least it looked that way. I then heard a door creak open. "Hello?" It was Elliot.

"Ah, Detective, you like to cut it close. Your friend here would have died in less than sixty seconds." The male voice said. He pointed to me, and Elliot's eyes followed; his face remained the same but his eyes instantly filled with panic and worry.

Elliot shrugged, playing off his panic. "I like to cut it close." The male head nodded. "Ready?" Asked the male voice, and he motioned for his partner to come next to him. She was holding a gun.

Elliot nodded. No, I thought. Dear God, no. He wasn't giving up his life for mine. "Elliot! No!" I tried to yell, but it was muffled by duct tape.

"Shut up!" The male voice said, and instructed the female voice to hit me in the head with the gun. It hurt when the impact of the gun hit the back of my head, but it didn't knock me unconscious.

The female held up the gun. Before she pulled the trigger, he yelled, "NOW!" And as he yelled, the female pulled the trigger. The next thing I knew, Elliot was laying on the ground. Dead.

"NO!" I yelled, sobs escaping me. Olivia, Casey, Munch, and Cragen rushed in, trying to get to the two masked figures. They all had to jump over Elliot's body, which was painful for all of them, but for Olivia mostly. It took a lot of will-power on her half to not tend to Elliot.

But the masked figure was quick, and shot all four of them in the head. Life escaped out of their eyes in an instant, and they all looked at me before they died. I sobbed louder, unable to contain myself.

Olivia pinned down the female, and reached for the gun. But before Olivia could grab it, the woman pulled the trigger. It was aimed at my head, and the bullet was flying towards me. Instead of my whole entire life flashing before my eyes, it was just the few passing days, the precious days that I had finally been able to work as a detective. And now that was all gone….

"Alec Bay?" I heard a female voice ask. I turned around on my swivel chair. I looked down at the clock nestled neatly on my desk—11:00 A.M. on Monday morning??

I stood up, and Olivia held up her hand. "Olivia Benson. I think we're working together." She smiled, warmly.

"Hi," I said, greeting Olivia Benson for the first time in my life. "Alec Bay."


End file.
